Phạm Trường HàBy: Evan
Real talk I hate shopping. I hate buying clothes. When I was packing up my spot in Pittsburgh, I realized half my shirts are free from all the random races I’ve done over the years. So after our decision to come to Hoi An and everyone telling us we had to buy clothes, I still wasn’t 100% bought in. The buzz was so strong, though, I felt I had to at least check it out.
A couple of young kids (well on their way to dirty hippy status) we met in Hanoi had bought suits and recommended a tailor. I researched him online and the reviews aligned with our conversation, so we decided to check him out. We biked to the center of Hoi An to his shop and prepared to ease our way into the process to ensure we didn’t get scammed or pressured into buying clothing we didn’t want. Yeah…that didn’t work.
The second we arrived, his ladies surrounded us like prey. Their game was strong too and they deserve some love. There were about ten of them at different levels. The low level soldiers did the bitch work on the finished suits like cutting frayed ends and final sewing and their interaction with the customers was minimal. The middle level assistants found materials and color options for you to compare, calculated pricing, and served as the number two to the top level. Each of us got one of Mr Xe’s bottom bitches who ran the show. They were the hustlers suggesting styles, fabrics, and were the main sales people. They organized the entire operation.
Well, back to the process. Instantly we were whisked away to check out the different fabrics and colors and designs that were available. My suit knowledge is zero. Before Bergman’s wedding my only suit consisted of a hand-me-down that was made in like 1983. I decided I was gonna trust my girl and go with whatever she thought was best (not like I had any other option). She told me I was super skinny so I needed a slim fit and I should have some button and collar designs that were hot right now (I couldn’t tell you why they were and if that is even true). We (well, she) finalized my design and it was Mr. Xe’s time.
Mr Xe is the owner of the tailor shop and he’s wild. He’s so excited about everything you can’t help but get on his level. When he introduced himself to me he just kept holding onto me for like 5 minutes. I guess he didn’t want me to leave. He does the final measurements, which was the most thorough job I’ve ever had. When I’ve had to rent suits for weddings they are pretty brief and usually assholes (Thank you Joseph A Banks for telling me I have the smallest chest you’ve ever seen). Basically he is so detailed and nice through the process you feel like a baller getting an actual fancy suit. I was all in at this point.
Before we finished my girl had to take me to “the shop” for final measurements. The shop is 100% what you would expect it to be. I arrive to find 15 shirtless bros going hard on these sewing machines making suits and dresses. This is why this shit is so cheap. I hope these guys make decent money as their product is on point.
Back to the shop for negotiating time. I knew what other people had paid ($100 for suit and $20 for a shirt) and was expecting a series of offers to reach that point.. It ended up being way easier that I thought. He straight up came up to me with $150, but a special discount just for me (and every person who doesn’t look rich) to $125 for a suit and shirt. I was kinda surprised with it being at that level and could only come back with “And a tie for free?” They erupted simultaneously with “Of course!” and all started laughing and shaking hands. And to them that meant the deal was done. Mr Xe told us to come back later that evening for our fitting because of course they can finish everything in less than 24 hours.
We come back to the store 7 hours later and see our clothes waiting for us. Ridiculous. Again, feel like a baller time. We tried on the clothes and Mr. Xe made his assessment including our favorite “Sit down…how feel?” Well he didn’t like a couple things and it was a little tight in certain spots, but overall it was super legit. Still he was like, we fix and you come back tomorrow. And of course it would be done in less than 24 hours. Now I was hooked. I was like screw it get me two more shirts. Not sure what happened to me.
The next day we came back to the finished product and everything was so on point. I can’t pay full price for nice clothes ever again (and he has my measurements so I’ll be buying any nice clothes from Vietnam from now on). We even had a mini photo shoot to finish the trip aka the ladies took our camera and went wild.
Somehow this whole suit making and buying process ended up being a fun experience even though it was super bougie. I’ll go eat some street food and put back on some basketball shorts and a cutoff to even things out. Update – The clothes already made their way to Olean! Vietnam’s mail game is on point.
